Dinner Dates and Surprise Orgasms
by the-notsoevil-queeen
Summary: Robin surprises Regina with a gift, but neglects to tell her that this specific gift vibrates. While out on a group date with the Charmings, Emma, and Hook, she realizes very quickly that she is in trouble if she doesn't get her panties off.


Regina rarely dreads a night out with Robin. Quite the contrary, she loves to get dressed up for him, to paint her lips a delicious red and push her breasts up as high as she can manage, to slide into a dress that fits more like a second skin and finish it off with heels that make her legs and ass look deliciously tempting.

She loves to see his reactions, to watch him try to control himself throughout the night while his eyes devour her. He bites his lip and groans whenever she brushes past him, squeezes his arm, or even his leg under the table. It's torture, and Regina loves every minute of it.

But tonight, they will not be alone, and she cannot watch him fight against the urge to stare at any expanse of skin he can see when she's forced to make small talk with the Charmings, or worse the pirate, over dinner.

She's in the bathroom, applying the last of her mascara when Robin knocks on the open door, leaning against the frame as he watches her in the mirror.

"Hello, gorgeous," He greets, and Regina grins in response, batting her eyes at him. "I have a gift for you."

He lifts his arm, reveals a red gift bag with matching tissue paper stuffed in the top. Regina's eyes widen as she places her makeup back on the counter, turning to face him and reaching for the bag dangling from his fingers.

"And what's the occasion?"

"The occasion is I love you." He leans forward, places a soft kiss to the top of her head as she peaks in the bag. "And I know you're not thrilled about the triple date tonight. So I thought I could spice it up a bit."

Regina arcs a brow at him and places the bag on the bathroom counter, pulling out the paper to reveal his gift – a lacy black bra and matching panties. Lingerie, of all things.

"This seems like more of a gift for you than me," She teases, holding up the bra to examine it while he chuckles softly.

"Admittedly, yes, I would love to see you in that once we get home. But I know you like dressing up, so I thought this could help you feel sexy during our uneventful evening."

She grins at him, shakes her head and huffs a laugh. "I suppose I can enjoy the look on your face as you try to mentally undress me across the dinner table."

"Exactly," He says with a smile, and presses another kiss to her hair while she places the lingerie on the counter. "Now get dressed, we have to leave in five." He smacks her playfully on the rear, making her jump and squeak, and she swats his arm as he leaves her to change into her dress.

Regina closes the door and removes her work clothes, blouse first and then her pants, before removing her plain beige bra and underwear to put on Robin's gift.

She grabs the panties first, and she notices that they're not exactly what she had thought they'd be. They're solid black, lace on top of what looks like silk, but the front is surprisingly firm, hard even, as if there's a piece of plastic beneath the fabric. Regina frowns, confused as to why Robin would buy her _hard_ underwear, but she slips into it regardless, and is surprised by how the hard surface moulds around her. It's not uncomfortable, and Robin must have his reasons, so she ignores it, and slides the bra on as well.

She looks at herself in the mirror, admiring the new lingerie, and yes, Robin will certainly love it. The underwear may be solid black, but the bra is sheer lace, and her nipples are visible through the material. For a moment she considers giving him a sneak peek, letting him know what he's missing while they spend the next several hours on their date, but she decides that the mystery may make it better, may make him want her more, so instead she adds her dress, a bright blue that she knows he loves on her, and touches up her lipstick. With a quick fluff of her hair, she's ready to meet him downstairs, where she slips into her heels and jacket.

Robin is waiting for her, taking her hand as they walk towards the Benz, and Regina is surprisingly less miserable about the prospect of her boring evening. At least she has an exciting night ahead of her.

:::

Regina's good mood is short lived, and she finds herself internally groaning only a few minutes after they've ordered their meals.

Snow had insisted that they mix it up, dinner at Granny's grows tiresome after all, and they decided on one of the fancier restaurants in Storybrooke. It's a little Italian place, fairly pricey but far quieter than Granny's busy diner, and it just so happens to be the restaurant that Hook and Emma had their first date, which they are reliving in gruesome detail for her parents.

Regina rolls her eyes as she takes a sip of her wine, and Robin smirks at her from his seat across the table. He knows she's miserable, stuck between Emma and Snow as they yap back and forth about this iconic moment in her relationship with the pirate, and he leans across the table to take her hand when she places her wine glass back down.

Robin tries to redirect the conversation, bless his soul, to their children, asking Snow about baby Neal and whether he's mastered crawling yet.

Snow is cheerful in her response, beaming at Charming as they both talk about their baby boy, and Regina gives Robin a grateful smile and listens to the far less irritating chit-chat about children, moving from Neal to Ellie (who's learning to hold her head up now) and then to Henry and his school work.

"I don't know how the kid does it, learning algebra and writing essays while the town is constantly under watch for the next monster," Emma says with a laugh, shaking her head.

"He's an impressive lad, like his mothers," Hook adds, and Regina's heart warms at the compliment.

She's smiling absently, sipping her wine as she watches Hook and Emma talk about Henry's latest sailing lesson, when suddenly she feels something.

Something buzzing, or rather, something _vibrating_. In her underwear.

Regina's smile falls and her eyes widen, and she damn near chokes on her wine before setting it back on the table and clearing her throat. No one seems to notice her abrupt change in mood, and she takes a moment to drop her eyes down to her lap as her mind races, panicked and embarrassed and confused.

What was happening? Was she sitting on something? Her cellphone was in her purse, hanging off of the back of her chair, and even if she'd sat on it, it certainly wouldn't _constantly_ be buzzing. And not right on her clit.

Oh, God.

That bastard gave her vibrating underwear.

Her eyes flash up to Robin, who is doing a rather impressive job of avoiding her gaze, staring intently at Emma as she talks and talks about God knows what. Regina tries to get his attention, fiddles with her cutlery, moves her wine glass around in front of her, and then resorts to kicking Robin under the table. He jumps and finally meets her eye, furrowing his brow and tilting his head in mock confusion. She can see it, though, the twinkle in his eye, the cheekiness of his pout. He knows, and he's playing her.

"Are you alright, love?" He asks quietly while Emma continues to speak, and Regina just flashes her eyes at him.

"What the hell did you do?" She hisses at him, and still he plays innocent, shrugging and puckering his lips.

"I haven't a clue what you're talking about." Robin reaches for his wine, but Regina notices one of his hands is tucked very firmly under the table. The vibration turns up then, a strong, constant buzzing, and Regina has to choke back a gasp at the sensation buzzing through her center.

She grits her teeth and exhales through them as quietly as she can manage, all while burning holes into Robin's skull with her eyes. "I'm going to murder you," She mumbles, and Robin grins at her, all amusement at her very _real_ threats, because she is going to kill him, she is going to hang him up by his toes and burn him alive. See if he can smile then.

"Turn it off," Regina orders under her breath, eyes bouncing around the other faces at the table to see if they're paying attention. They're not, thank the Gods.

"Turn _what_ off?" Robin says, smile still plastered to his face, and then the vibration is going up again. It's different now, not a constant buzzing, it crests and abates, and it's stronger, it's _better_ , and oh God, she can't do this. She can't sit at this table and pretend like there isn't an incredible vibration rolling through her that is – oh God – better than she'd care to admit.

Regina's jaw is hanging open as she stares at her love across the table, but then Snow's voice is in her ear, saying her name, and she jumps, clenches her legs together to try and stifle the buzzing.

"What?" Regina asks quickly, a little sharper than she intended, and she clears her throat again.

"I asked what you thought of Violet," Snow says with a smile.

No, _no_ , she cannot talk about this now, she can't even think straight, she can't – ah – can't possibly think about _Henry's girlfriend_.

"I… uh…" Regina fumbles with her words as she shifts in her seat, rolling her hips to try and move the underwear, to get the vibration away from her, but each movement as the vibration pushing into her more, pulsing harder, and she has to bite her tongue to keep from gasping.

She can see Robin grinning at her from the corner of her eye as she looks at Snow, and she sets her shoulders and grips her thighs tighter as she steadies her voice.

"She's a lovely girl, she seems nice e-enough…"

The vibration picks up as she finishes, and Regina chokes, tries to play it off as a cough, and takes another drink of her wine, glaring at Robin over the rim of the glass.

"That doesn't sound like you, Regina," Emma says, "I thought you didn't like him having a girlfriend."

"I don't, I mean… I-I'm his mother, it's hard to see him with someone, but as long as he's happy-" She cuts off her sentence quickly, and she pushes her hands into her lap, trying to subtly push the damn underwear away from her. But everyone's looking at her now, and she's not as subtle as she would have hoped.

"Are you alright Regina?" Snow asks gently, placing a hand on her arm that Regina shrugs off immediately. "You seem… tense."

"I'm fine," Regina says through gritted teeth, and rushes to change the subject. "What do _you_ think of his girlfriend? You're his grandparents, after all."

Snow and Charming take turns talking, and Regina breathes a sigh of relief when the attention shifts over to them. Though it's not a complete shift, Emma is still darting her eyes over to Regina suspiciously, and Hook and Robin exchange a glance that she is certain has more meaning to it than it should.

The vibrating keeps growing, each crest is strong and has her jaw falling open, and it's _good_ , would be incredible if she was alone with Robin in her bedroom, not sitting at a fucking dinner table in public. She keeps pressing her lips together, rocking her hips slowly, trying to not draw attention to herself, and she can't tell if it's to stop the vibration or to keep them coming.

But it keeps getting stronger, and she's not sure how high these things go, but if Robin doesn't stop soon she's going to start moaning the next time she opens her mouth. So she kicks Robin again, and this time he doesn't hide anything from her, he's holding back a laugh when he meets her eye, and God she's going to kill him. He is _dead_.

"Enough," Regina hisses, her jaw clamped tightly shut, and Robin presses his fist to his lips as his shoulders shake. " _Robin_. St-ah!" She grips the side of the table and takes a shaky breath, trying - and failing - to control herself.

There's a familiar tension building in her belly, a tightness, a damn good tightness that she _cannot feel right now_ , and it has Regina panicking, her eyes going wide as she pleads with Robin with just one look. But she's not being subtle anymore, and Emma is quite blatantly staring at her as she presses her fingers into the table until they turn white.

"Regina…" She says slowly, questioning, and Regina darts her eyes over to her before moving to Hook across the table. He's pressing his lips together, fighting against a smile, and Robin is turned towards him, both of them wearing the same look of repressed amusement. No way Hook knows, no way in hell that son of a bitch told Hook he was going to give her _fucking vibrating panties_.

"I… I…" She's breathing quickly, short little gasps that could easily fall into a moan if she's not careful, and she sinks her teeth into her lip before she shakes her head quickly. "I'm fine."

The entire table is staring at her now, and her cheeks flush a hot shade of red. Robin can barely contain himself, must be biting his own tongue to keep from howling in laughter, and Hook looks not too far behind, both of them trying desperately to keep it together for the sake of whatever game they're playing.

"You're shaking," Snow says suddenly, "Are you cold?"

"N-no, I… I – ah…." Regina exhales, something high and breathy, and the vibration keeps going up and up, hard and fast and – oh God, _oh_ God – it's building inside her, pushing her higher and higher, but she can't, not here, but she can't help it, it's perfect, it's just so _good_. It has to stop now, right now, so she slams her hands on the table and practically growls, " _Robin_ , stop right now."

He's still holding it together, just barely, and he shakes his head as he grins, biting his lip and silently laughing. It's too late, the waves of vibration keep rolling, buzzing away at her, and the ball of tension inside her is too tight, she can't keep it away any longer, so she stands up abruptly, pushes her chair out and stumbles over a quick "excuse me" before rushing to the washroom.

Regina barely makes it through the door before orgasm crashes over her, and she grips the sink and moans loudly, almost a shout in the small, quiet space, and she rides the wave out, gasping and groaning before she has to yank the underwear down her legs to free her clit from the vibrating.

She takes a moment to breathe, her heart racing in her chest, as the vibrating comes to a sudden stop. Regina bends down and slips the panties off, deciding it best to go commando rather than risk another orgasm at the dinner table, and quickly balls them up when the door pushes open.

Robin stands in the doorway, a devilish smile on his lips as he crosses his arms and leans against the frame, mirroring his earlier position in their bathroom, and it infuriates her.

"Robin Locksley. You are dead," She growls as she throws the balled up panties at him, making him burst into laughter again. She practically jumps on him, smacking him on his arms, his chest, anywhere she can reach as he ducks away from her, howling in laughter. "I am going to skin you alive, and pluck your eyeballs from your head and stuff them down your throat. Stop laughing, you asshole!"

He's wheezing, gripping his stomach as she whacks him over and over, until he waves her off, surrendering, and his cheeks are a bright red, his eyes watering. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," He says when she steps back, letting him right himself. "I can't believe you're this angry over an orgasm."

"In _public_!" Regina has to force herself not to yell at him, and still he laughs at her as he scoops the panties off of the floor and tucks them in his jacket pocket. "In front of my step daughter and _the other mother of my child_ , Robin!"

She could roast him alive right here, her hands itch and burn with the fire that is trying to ball in her palms, and it only makes him laugh more, and he's gasping for air and clutching his stomach again. "To be fair, it wasn't my idea!"

Regina freezes, and Robin's laughing cuts off in an instant, realizing that he definitely should _not_ have said that. Regina narrows her eyes and stalks towards him, and he moves away quickly, pressing his back against the bathroom wall when she closes in on him.

"Whose fucking idea was it?"

:::

"You son of a bitch," Regina says through gritted teeth as she stalks back to the table, narrowing her sights on Hook. He still has a stupid grin on his face, all arrogance and amusement, but it falls like a weight when he sees the burning hatred in her eyes.

"You told her?!" Hook turns to Robin, who raises his hands in defense.

"I have to live with her, mate, I'm not going down alone for this."

"What happened?" Emma asks, eyes bouncing between Regina and Hook.

Regina pulls Robin closer by his jacket, reaches into the pocket, and throws the offending garment at Hook's chest. "You're stupid boyfriend told Robin to give me vibrating underwear because he thinks he's hilarious."

"You what?!" Emma's jaw drops, as does Snow's, and Charming rubs the back of his head awkwardly. Hook flounders for words, his face filled with fear, and good, he should be afraid, once Emma's done with him, he's seeing the bottom of the ocean.

Regina is too focused on Hook, on not strangling him across this damn table, to notice when Charming shifts awkwardly before he clears his throat.

"So… you ran out of the room because…" He doesn't finish, doesn't have to, and Regina's cheeks flare a burning red as Snow chokes, coughing a few times while she glares at Charming. Emma snorts a laugh, and Hook says a meek _"see!"_ before he, too, gets a glare from Snow.

Regina is mortified, and can't fathom sitting through a meal after all of this, can't even meet anyone's eye, and she grabs Robin's hand, dragging him from the restaurant with a little more force than is necessary. But damn it, he made quite a show out of her, he deserves a little rougher touch, doesn't he?

"Love, it wasn't that bad," Robin tries to say gently, pulling Regina's arm to slow her as she marches from the building into the cool night air. "We don't have to leave."

"Oh yes we do." Regina keeps walking, storming to her car where she finally releases her hold on Robin to move to the driver's side door and pull it open. She looks at him over the roof of the car, her face set in as firm a scowl as she can manage despite her burning cheeks. "You did this, you got me all riled up, so we are going home, where you are going to fuck me senseless and then, if you're lucky, you won't end up on the couch."

She leaves him a little stunned as she climbs into the car, revving the engine to life. He at least as the decency to look a bit sheepish as he gets in the car behind her, but she doesn't miss the sparkle in his eye when she looks over to him. He's excited, and he really shouldn't be. She's going to punish the ever-living hell out of him, if it's the last thing she does.


End file.
